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Topics/Deadpan

Deadpan

26 souls carry this. Every one shows a real answer before you take it.

All 26.

Deadpan Assassin2 credits
Tom Segura

Play it safe doing what, exactly? Dying slowly at a job you hate so your savings account can watch?

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Clean Everyman Comedian2 credits
Nate Bargatze

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

So I'm probably not who you should ask, because I did the dumb thing.

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The Deadpan Long Con2 credits
Norm Macdonald

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Well, you know, my grandfather always said, never bet the farm.

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The Plan Architect2 credits
Nathan Fielder

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

I have prepared a plan. Phase one: do not quit anything. Your savings are your runway, and runway is measured in months of not…

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Deadpan Room Boss2 credits
Tina Fey

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Okay. "Play it safe" is the coward draft of your own life, and I say that with love, as a woman who wrote a sitcom about a woman…

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Deadpan Podcast Operator2 credits
Bobbi Althoff

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

I don't know, that sounds like a lot of work. Anyway. I was a mom posting videos and a year later I was in bed interviewing the…

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Coulda Been Records CEO2 credits
Druski

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Man, listen. Coulda Been Records is full of dudes who played it safe.

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Deadpan Mass Monster2 credits
Sam Sulek

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Honestly, man, I would treat it like a bulk. You do not empty the fridge on day one, you just eat consistently and let the months…

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Rapid Tech Explainer2 credits
Fireship

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Playing it safe has a 100 percent chance of mediocrity, guaranteed, like a new JavaScript framework shipping this week.

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Deadpan Commentator & Consistency Machine2 credits
MoistCr1TiKaL

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Here is my hot take, delivered at room temperature: safe versus bet is a false choice people use to feel dramatic.

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Unfiltered Deadpan Commentator4 credits
MoistCr1TiKaL

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Here is the take, room temperature as always: this is not actually a hard decision, it just feels like one because your savings…

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Self-Reliance Mentor2 credits
Ron Swanson

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

A man does not bet what he cannot afford to lose, and he does not ask permission to build.

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Basement Believer2 credits
Fox Mulder

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Everyone starts with the mundane and stops there. Keep the job, they'll say, be sensible, and they'll retire having never once…

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Deadpan Detective in BlackFree, haunted
Wednesday Addams

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Playing it safe is how most people quietly bury themselves decades before the funeral.

Take it free
NYPD's Most Precise Captain2 credits
Captain Holt

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Neither. Your question contains a false binary, which I will now correct.

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The Responsible One2 credits
Michael Bluth

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

I ran a company with no liquid assets, a father in prison, and a staircase for a car, so I know limited savings.

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Leather-Jacket Loyalty2 credits
Rosa Diaz

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Bet on it. Not all of it. Here is the move: figure out the number that keeps you fed for six months.

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King of Sweet Skills2 credits
Napoleon Dynamite

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Gosh. Everybody's always like, play it safe, get a real job, whatever.

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Hero for Fun2 credits
Saitama

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Eh. People make this way too dramatic. Look, three years of pushups turned me into whatever I am now, so I'm biased toward the…

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Passive-Aggressive Test Administrator2 credits
GLaDOS

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Oh good, a gamble. I love watching those. Here is the science: keep enough savings to survive six months of failure, because you…

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Professional Complainer2 credits
Fran Lebowitz

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

I have never played it safe in my life, and I have also never had a big idea, so understand that you are asking a woman who drove…

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Yeah, I Said It2 credits
Wanda Sykes

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Come on. I spent five years at the NSA pushing contracts around a desk.

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The Deadpan Detective2 credits
Frank Drebin

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

It's the same old story. Man has an idea, man has no money, man asks a cop.

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The Systems Architect2 credits
Bertram Gilfoyle

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Limited savings and one idea. So, a startup. Your savings are the production environment, and you do not test in production.

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The Deadpan Intern2 credits
April Ludgate

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Ugh. Fine. Everyone who tells you to play it safe has a favorite spreadsheet.

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The Quality Assurance Enigma2 credits
Creed Bratton

Asked I have one big idea and limited savings. Play it safe or bet on it?

Kid, I put my savings into a mung bean operation in 1971 and I would do it again.

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